Food Porn!

Hi gals,

Do ya ever just get a boner equivalent over a picture of food? I just wanted to share a little food porn with you that I made the other day. You might want some alone time afterwards for reflection if you know what I mean.

And if you want to create your own version of this type of pornography at home, here are the simple instructions:

1. Dig a couple of pieces of bread out of your dusty bread box and praise God if there’s no mold on it. If there is, just cut out the mold, I’m pretty sure thats ok to do.

2. On second thought, just stick the bread in the toaster to try and kill any mold that might be on your bread. I’m not sure of the science behind this but why not give it a shot? The worst that could happen is you get toasty moldy bread that may or may not land you in the hospital.

3. Slap a little cheese on that toasted bread. I like Kraft singles but Velveeta is another major manufacturer of fine cheeses that I’d also recommend.

4. Open up the several bags of deli meat from various points in your life, and give them all the sniff test. Use whichever one passes.

5. Slap that meat on that toast and put the other piece of toast on top, then cut it with your butter knife or the cleanest one available.

6. Enjoy your homemade porno.